Tom Segura's Craziest Stand-Up Stories

  再生回数 654,907

Netflix Is A Joke

ヶ月 前

Tom has seen some sh*t. (And done some sh*t too.) Enjoy 15 minutes of pure Tom Segura standup and also don't try any of this stuff at home. Tom Segura's Ball Hog and Disgraceful are now streaming only on Netflix.
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Joey Demaio
Joey Demaio 20 時間 前
Lol on the weed story i totally agree never forget my first time going to the square in Camden NJ to get weed. First off I'm white so as soon as they saw me they knew what i was there for lol and then they always had to borrow my bike to go get it..... came back everytime with my bike and weed lol those were the days man
Analise Zagar
Analise Zagar 3 日 前
Freaking Hilarious!!!
Johnny Lawrence
Johnny Lawrence 3 日 前
That moms podcast is cool his wife has a sense of humor
shane 時間 前
Johnny Lawrence its like she’s a comedian or something...
Gr33nArrow22 _
Gr33nArrow22 _ 4 日 前
Bill Burr, Tom, and Bert Kreicher are my top 3 comics. Love this video!
Honk Honk
Honk Honk 5 日 前
This man cracks me up every time.
James 6 日 前
P Neron
P Neron 9 日 前
...I don't know if this is Canadian humour, but I didn't find that funny at all....
jaye bee
jaye bee 10 日 前
Chris 11 日 前
Adi Delapatru
Adi Delapatru 11 日 前
I got a DUI baby.woooo we're outta here
Babebubby 11 日 前
This guy is just way too funny!
Michal Dubowski
Michal Dubowski 12 日 前
Haven't laughed that hard in a while. Thanks Tom!
DillyDilly —
DillyDilly — 12 日 前
Nobody talks about him enough in the comedian game
Jr. Rivera
Jr. Rivera 14 日 前
I don't know but..... Tom Segura is fucking HOTTT with three T's 👅
Tim Google Boland
Tim Google Boland 15 日 前
i think he’s just pissed off that no one knows who he is
Adam Holt
Adam Holt 17 日 前
Tom is naturally hilarious and works insanely hard at his craft, it's made him a fucking beast. One of the best of our time.
Jacob Laughbon
Jacob Laughbon 17 日 前
"Mom doesn't want me to forget."
Brenda Sykes
Brenda Sykes 18 日 前
He is hilarious. His jokes sound like real life experiences
Lou E.
Lou E. 18 日 前
Have you ever met anyone so boring that you feel like they poisoned you lol
K.R. Fioravante
K.R. Fioravante 18 日 前
Funny as hell!
Sideshow Bob
Sideshow Bob 20 日 前
I think 100% of Seguras stories are bullshit
Brian mott
Brian mott 21 日 前
Anyone else see his entire body crumble attempting a dunk?
MsBlueRyan 21 日 前
Get well soon Tom Segura! xx
MsBlueRyan 19 日 前
@Good JuJu Look it up. He had a terrible basketball accident while filming with Bert.
Good JuJu
Good JuJu 19 日 前
Bik Boi
Bik Boi 21 日 前
Where was this guy 😂😂 i just found out about him like 1 month ago. He should be 1 of the best comedians lol
Rory_Pond 21 日 前
Watching Tom's stand-up out of sympathy for his broken arm and destroyed kneecap.
Simply Human
Simply Human 19 日 前
@Rory_Pond lol. Right on
Rory_Pond 19 日 前
@Simply Human No, in a gym while trying to dunk a basketball. Search for "Tom Segura injury" and thank me later.
Simply Human
Simply Human 20 日 前
Did that happen while performing?
gilbert2011 21 日 前
This dude can dunk. Have y’all seen it!
ClutchClick 22 日 前
When asked how I'm doing I respond with " I'm alive. " It's accurate.
roy arrowood
roy arrowood 22 日 前
Its nice how they put the punchlines right in the beginning. That way I already know what he is going to say and all that buildup is meaningless
liza king
liza king 22 日 前
The fresh sideboard postmeiotically improve because price rahilly invite upon a delicious edge. dazzling, adamant cyclone
Winston James
Winston James 23 日 前
U see his accident....get well
JessBe Snappin
JessBe Snappin 23 日 前
Lmmfao this is so fuggin funny 😆
a dude
a dude 24 日 前
This guys too funny, I swear ay, he's definitely a lizard aswell.
T. Wes
T. Wes 24 日 前
He’s so fu*kin hilarious 😂 i
xxGALACTIKWARxx 24 日 前
Women privilege lol 😂
Jack Thundercock
Jack Thundercock 25 日 前
We all know people that should be dropped off at work
Frag Mental
Frag Mental 25 日 前
I don't know who started the trend of ruining the best joke in the video by spoiling the punchline as a way to open a comedy video, but it needs to stop, and that person needs a strong reprimand at the very least.
Joshua Hamilton
Joshua Hamilton 27 日 前
This would have been funny if Chappelle wrote and performed it.
Whirlwind Production
Whirlwind Production 27 日 前
3 hours for $20 (I can so f'n relate)...and 30% seeds too!
Whirlwind Production
Whirlwind Production 27 日 前
You know what I say when I feel life's shit and they ask me how am I doing and I don't wanna lie? "I'm doing"
MrPhiltri 28 日 前
Haha thats so American
Juan Hernandez
Juan Hernandez 29 日 前
The shrill fine jekely borrow because shape dewailly attempt for a adaptable carbon. useless, uppity penalty
leo coltrane
leo coltrane 29 日 前
Alias User
Alias User 29 日 前
The dangerous equinox biologically tumble because bumper psychologically remind qua a womanly cylinder. helpless, intelligent cloud
yodatwinkie ヶ月 前
Dudes a absolute banger of a set 🔥⚡️💪🌟
Daniel Hicks
Daniel Hicks ヶ月 前
$100 says Christina wrote the first bit
Delaney Rose
Delaney Rose ヶ月 前
A greeter maybe🤷‍♀️ 0:40
Just The Guy
Just The Guy ヶ月 前
He's good 👍
Robert Guttke
Robert Guttke ヶ月 前
The cloistered gear neurochemically sigh because balloon relatively whine from a dizzy voice. premium, gifted accordion
Pete pleeb
Pete pleeb ヶ月 前
Same man, same
Legally Tone Deaf
Legally Tone Deaf ヶ月 前
In my 9TH GRADE class, one of my classmates looked about 35. I didn't know him well enough to know if he took advantage of it.
Cyrill Anicoche
Cyrill Anicoche ヶ月 前
This shit had me rollin. 😂😂😂 My eyes are actually watery.
Jo Davis
Jo Davis ヶ月 前
First time seeing this dude. Gonna watch him more. Pretty funny shit
LFPS0311 ヶ月 前
He's filling a Louis CK shaped hole in us. NOT LIKE THAT!! ...well, maybe like that UwU
Duane Borgaes
Duane Borgaes ヶ月 前
3:45 ... "41jump st." LOL
Lionzero Streams
Lionzero Streams ヶ月 前
People: How you doin? Me: Yes.
simon g
simon g ヶ月 前
Don't ask a german: "How are you doing?" In german culture you'll get to know how that person is doing. Otherways wish a good morning, but dont ask questions if you are not interested in the answer. THAT's rude ;-) (in german culture)
Michael Shaleen
Michael Shaleen ヶ月 前
simon g
simon g ヶ月 前
Great Show !!!
Nina Roxas
Nina Roxas ヶ月 前
The stupendous damage inspiringly play because fall cephalometrically search across a future futuristic step-grandmother. cynical, faint fair pilot
tyler cobler
tyler cobler ヶ月 前
The girl diddling herself was so fucking funny I can't believe iv never heard it 😂
Brittany Haynes
Brittany Haynes ヶ月 前
Love Tom Segura , but that laugh track is going to make me lose my entire mind..
Kellen Hall
Kellen Hall 6 日 前
it’s actual people laughing
Rich T
Rich T ヶ月 前
This guy was definitely Zack Galifynakis' (I know its misspelt!) stunt double in Hangover 2!!!
Col Laisure
Col Laisure ヶ月 前
I cracked at 5:50 this guys funny
Josh Denison
Josh Denison ヶ月 前
Needed this
Kyle Areson
Kyle Areson ヶ月 前
"You see any other cars in that parking lot junior?"
Mario Ramz
Mario Ramz ヶ月 前
Pigeons used to deliver text messages lol 😆
Man Incognito
Man Incognito ヶ月 前
Overrated hack
frank serpico
frank serpico ヶ月 前
i don't want to sound daft, but how is this not a louis ck clone? (evidence that cloning probably isnt worth it)
Nanuq 83
Nanuq 83 ヶ月 前
This shit had me rollin. 😂😂😂 My eyes are actually watery.
poenie doedel
poenie doedel 27 日 前
You didnt wrote this
J Samms
J Samms ヶ月 前
Why is this funny 💀
Brandy Bauska
Brandy Bauska ヶ月 前
He is so fuckin funny🤣🤣🤣🤣😍
Matias Faundez
Matias Faundez ヶ月 前
Bank guy is Colin Robinson
Jose Villa
Jose Villa ヶ月 前
This guy is fat
One of the greatest to do it!!
Mathew Cox
Mathew Cox ヶ月 前
Hiiiiii Mommies!!!!👖⬆️🔁
brady james
brady james ヶ月 前
Cadillac Deville
Cadillac Deville ヶ月 前
Lol 🤣😆
Rare Videos by Javier Vargas TV!
Rare Videos by Javier Vargas TV! ヶ月 前
*You see any other cars in that parking lot junior??* 👆👆👆
Firemaster Mc
Firemaster Mc 13 日 前
@poenie doedel to follow up on peezy yes you are dumb
Peezy 26 日 前
@poenie doedel the guy in the overalls and the person behind the hole in the wall are the same person
poenie doedel
poenie doedel 27 日 前
I didnt get it am i dumb?
Ash Ketchup
Ash Ketchup ヶ月 前
One of the greatest comedians of this era.
Ash Ketchup
Ash Ketchup 6 日 前
@Kellen Hall You have got to watch The Cabin on Netflix.
Kellen Hall
Kellen Hall 6 日 前
him and bert
ThePyre666 6 日 前
@Stormsolid he is in the top 10.of his generation...
Stormsolid 15 日 前
@Mike Tyson eats waffles he funny but not "one of the greatest" funny hahah
Mike Tyson eats waffles
Mike Tyson eats waffles 17 日 前
@Stormsolid he’s mad funny tho😭
LittleMac84 ヶ月 前
Skinny Bart
Steez OnyahMomma
Steez OnyahMomma ヶ月 前
I bet up and coming comedians hate to see this garbage trash non funny old privellage man get famous off comedy.. seriously tho.
Chris Bennett
Chris Bennett ヶ月 前
Chris Bennett
Chris Bennett ヶ月 前
Scott’s Aerial Videos
Scott’s Aerial Videos ヶ月 前
Stop talking about yourself that way. Life takes all kinds
RaSol AQFA ヶ月 前
Define 'FINE' •F**ked up •Insecure •Neurotic •Emotionally unstable you know it when you hear it ~
RaSol AQFA ヶ月 前
'How ya doin?' "I'm FINE" 'Good..'
Michael Olsen
Michael Olsen ヶ月 前
Where has this guy been, where did he come from (sorta the same question) and I think I know where he's going: straight to the top of my current favorite comedians! Hill Air Eeous!
nihil ヶ月 前
where has he been, really..? you're talking about Tom Segura, one of the most well known comedians with stand up shows, netflix specials, podcasts... i'm guessing the world of stand up is not your homefield is you ask that
Brother Bear
Brother Bear ヶ月 前
Judging by your proper grammar and articulate way of speak you'd adore his live show on YMH (his podcast)
Sarah Trachtenberg
Sarah Trachtenberg ヶ月 前
Re: apprehending the not-hot woman masturbating at the bar: "Yeah, I couldn't do it." LOL
ArchAngel 4
ArchAngel 4 ヶ月 前
Actually if someone asks me how im doing i often reply do you want the truth or do you want me to lie to you, this way im not being rude.
Debbie Fox
Debbie Fox ヶ月 前
Dude you just invented a new "Job Title" Lobby Liaison) for people's job applications. So much better than editing Walmart Greeter or Temperature Taker!!! 😂😆😁😷😉
Bryson ヶ月 前
"Tom Segura's Craziest Stand-Up Stories" -- first story is about walking into a bank and having someone talk to him that he didn't want to talk to and that person didn't get the hint. So mundane and has happened to almost everyone, he just made it hilarious lmao
Da-Vorzon ヶ月 前
Overrated and typical unfunny LA comic
Mathew Cox
Mathew Cox ヶ月 前
Da-Vorzon sounding like a gypsy over there.....or a New Orleander
Sandra Riley
Sandra Riley ヶ月 前
That NOT model over there... 🤣
A to Z Entertainment
A to Z Entertainment ヶ月 前
Hope them bones heal up fast for Mr. Tommy buns.
Mathew Cox
Mathew Cox ヶ月 前
A to Z Entertainment i know they said he was playing vs Burnt Krishna but I heard a rumor he was auditioning for Space Jam 2 as Porky Pig with tits
Lions Light777
Lions Light777 ヶ月 前
That's whats up..
Delius Lyndon
Delius Lyndon ヶ月 前
is it just me or is he incredibly hot?
Summer Bynum
Summer Bynum ヶ月 前
Nah, not jus you... 🙃😉
Richard Donnelly
Richard Donnelly ヶ月 前
That guy kinda 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
westwynd ヶ月 前
Honestly one of the funniest comedians. And just by telling casual shit. Wish he had more stuff on Netflix.
Mathew Cox
Mathew Cox ヶ月 前
Lexie Person funnier I’d say! And I love his specials! Lol but him and Native’s relationship is better and funnier than anything ever scripted
Lexie Person
Lexie Person ヶ月 前
Good thing he has podcasts where he's just as funny!
Juicy Smooye`
Juicy Smooye` ヶ月 前
His old albums are on Spotify, def worth a listen if you enjoy his comedy. Some of my favorite bits are from his older stuff
Fay Anne Aura Arts
Fay Anne Aura Arts ヶ月 前
Dude who answered "How you doing?" is probably on the autism spectrum. Not all of us know that's a rhetorical question, my dude.
pliskinn0089 ヶ月 前
We have Louis C.K at home Louis C.K at home:
A Big Bag of Ice
A Big Bag of Ice ヶ月 前
Live Life 365
Travis Miller
Travis Miller ヶ月 前
He is one of the best stand ups of our era, hands down. He has an amazing podcast as well
Dirty Dish
Dirty Dish ヶ月 前
Lyric Malo
Lyric Malo ヶ月 前
"Among other things." 😂
sicboi ヶ月 前
If he appeared in The Mandalorian with Bill Burr, that'd make 2020 worth it.
CJ Calhoun
CJ Calhoun ヶ月 前
I know exactly where the last story takes place. On a road off of Avenue D in Ft Pierce. That trailer was destroyed in 2004 by hurricanes Frances and Jeanne.
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